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My divorce process is going much smoother https://onlinedivorceny.com/how-much-does-divorce-lawyer-cost-in-new-york/, but Ive been there with love bombing. Our first year was great and I was hooked. After that I'd get little crumbs of love, there was always something keeping her "current job is stressful, will get better when I get a new one", "it'll get better after we move in together (i.e. marry, to not upset her conservative parents)", "I'm feeling good in this new job so I'll devote all my energy to that now" etc. etc. Meanwhile I was doing the 99% of chores, providing emotional support (much more than she has done to me). She never had a good relationship before me and I think she didn't love me but rather how safe and loved she felt.

Well, here I am divorced https://onlinedivorcetexas.com/grounds-for-divorce-in-texas/ for the second time. 27 years old, 2 children by 2 different men. I can't even explain the pain I feel, the shame, embarrassment, and sense of failure. The first marriage lasted 5 years. After the first marriage, I didn't really want to get married again, but I felt like I had really met the man I wanted to live with forever. The second marriage lasted 1 year. I tried really hard to make it work, but no matter how hard I tried, it didn't work out. My ex-husband didn't want to work and wanted me to pay for everything. Like everything. I loaned him money (15k) for a whole year, which I regret very much today. He kept saying he would pay the money back, but he never did. I helped him so much financially that I ended up resenting him. I really want to write everything that was bad about the marriage, but I don't want to bore you with it. I just feel such tremendous shame and a sense of failure. I will never risk getting married again! I didn't have a father when I was little, he left my mother when I was in the womb.

It's been a month since my spouse told me she wanted a divorce https://divorceonlineutah.com/utah-divorce-waiting-period/. I have experienced the full range of emotions one can experience, and I have cried almost every day since then.

But things are getting better.

Over the past month, I have spent an unimaginable amount of time in introspection, reflecting on myself, on my marriage, on my goals, my desires, on my life. I have been brutally honest with myself in a way I have never been before.

For the past few years, I have been depressed and not the partner she deserved. But she doesn't blame me - not really. As they say, it takes two to tango.

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